Things I have Learned.

A Little Cheer After Yesterday's Gloom

Things I have learned:
- Shaving is optional – this includes armpits
- Deodorant doesn’t really exist, but they don’t smell?
- E-bikes have no rules
- In the e-bike lane, please go both ways
- Please ride your e-bike on the sidewalk and blare the horn when pedestrians are in the way
- You can ride you e-bike forwards, backwards or sideways
- You can wear your mini skirt on your e-bike and please wear your heels
- Buses are bigger and therefore can go anywhere
- clipping a taxi in a bus does not mean the bus should stop
- Taxis are allowed in the e-bike lane at any time
- Hello, how are you are common, but don’t expect a response, that’s all they have
- Seaweed is a great snack – right up with chicken feet, pig hoofs and pig snout
- Mold doesn’t matter, just paint over it
- I am a Unicorn. People part when I come through
- What I buy is important for everyone to see. Please examine the contents of my buggy.
- To cross the road, cross one lane at a time, and stand in the middle to wait for another gap
-its okay to point at a white person and say “mama, white!” and run away
- It is equally okay for me to laugh and poke the child
- You cannot sit next to me on the bus (or anywhere). I am a white unicorn and therefor unpredictable
- Please just stare at me and make no attempt to greet me
- When left turn lanes are going, please go diagonally across the street
- Umbrellas should be used at all times
- Umbrellas are used to keep water out of the bus when raining
- Men can wear any colour
- Horizontal stripes, especially the jail bird look is popular
- Poufy pants best thought of as girls pantaloons from the 1700’s are the new thing to wear
- Although fat people exist, there seems to be no clothing stores for them
- Smoking in confined places is awesome
- Wearing glasses without lenses (like at Jess’s birthday) is the cool thing to do
- Teachers day is to celebrate and honour teachers. International teachers are expected to perform to entertain the national teachers.
- On teacher’s day, you should give your teacher gifts – flowers, coffee mugs, whatever you feel like
- When a child in boarding school’s mother has twins, the parents should give the child’s English Teacher a gift. (The child’s English teacher may or may not throw out the gift once out of sight…. the gift is eggs, they are dark brown with a very bitter taste. The egg is chewy, almost tofu-y)